Lope's Thoughts

I live with tears every day, not the kind the world can see, but the ones that drown a soul while the face remembers how to smile. I have become a stranger to happiness, a traveler wandering through endless nights where even the moon cannot find me. Every sunrise feels like another promise that forgot my name. Every sunset buries another piece of me that never found its way home. There are wounds time refuses to touch, memories that sharpen themselves each time I close my eyes. I have held conversations with empty rooms, embraced silence as though it were the last friend who never chose to leave, and whispered prayers that echoed back without an answer. The tears never ask permission. They arrive like faithful visitors, sitting beside me through lonely evenings, sleeping beside me through restless nights, awakening with me before the dawn. Some people call it sadness. They do not know what it means to carry a heart that beats like a funeral bell, mourning dreams that died while the bod...

Do not mistake my gentle eyes for guilt. I wear a smile soft as morning light, yet they search it for shadows that were never mine. They see kindness and call it deception. They hear my silence and call it strategy. They cannot believe that a quiet heart can simply be at peace. "The kindest faces hide the sharpest blades," they whisper whenever I walk by. "Lethal." That is the name they gave me before they ever knew my story. "Lethal." A word carried by voices that mistook mystery for malice. They built a stranger from their fears and dressed her in my face. They believe my smile conceals danger. They believe my calm is a warning. They believe my silence is waiting to strike. But they do not know the prayers I pray, the tears I hide, or the battles I choose not to fight. If my heart has a weapon, it is forgiveness. If my soul carries anything, it is grace. Still... They call me lethal. That is what they say about me. I have learned that not every accusatio...

After the storm, I found myself standing among the ruins of a life I once knew. The skies had cleared, but the damage remained. Scattered across the ground were broken pieces,  pieces of trust, pieces of dreams, pieces of people who promised they would stay. I knelt in silence. Not because I was strong, but because there was nothing left to hold me upright. The storm had taken much. It stole familiar voices. It carried away plans I had carefully built. It left empty chairs where laughter once lived. And painful goodbyes echoed through the halls of my memory. Some departures arrive without warning. A final conversation. A closed door. A fading heartbeat. A last glance that becomes forever. Loss has a way of changing the shape of a soul. It carves valleys where mountains once stood. It teaches lessons no one ever wishes to learn. And yet, there I was, gathering the broken pieces. One by one. The piece called courage. The piece called faith. The piece called hope, which had somehow su...

 They call me crazy. I laugh and tell them, "Of course I am, sanity packed its bags years ago and left no forwarding address." They laugh with me. That is the trick. If I make the joke first, no one notices the cracks beneath the punchline. My mind is a carnival at midnight, lights flickering, music playing out of tune, ghosts riding the Ferris wheel of old memories. Yet I smile. Because laughter is cheaper than therapy and easier than explaining why some nights feel heavier than mountains. I joke about my misfortunes. I shake hands with disaster. I invite heartbreak to sit beside me at the bar and buy it a drink. "What now?" I ask. And heartbreak laughs, because it knows I will turn it into a story. That is how I survive. Not with courage. Not with strength. But with absurdity. With ridiculous thoughts that dance through the darkness wearing oversized shoes. The world expects tears. I hand it a grin instead. The world expects collapse. I perform a comedy routine on...

She was here, for a moment too small for the clocks to measure, too brief for the world to understand, yet long enough to leave fingerprints upon a mother's soul. A baby girl. A whispered promise wrapped in fragile dreams, carried beneath a hopeful heart that had already imagined a thousand tomorrows. Then came the silence. A silence so heavy it bent the walls inward. A silence that settled inside empty rooms, inside folded blankets, inside the spaces where laughter was meant to grow. The mother wept. Not the gentle tears that fall with ordinary sadness. These were ancient tears. The kind born from a wound too deep for language, too sacred for explanation. She cried for first steps that would never mark the floor. For tiny hands that would never reach for hers. For lullabies that would remain unsung, their melodies trapped forever inside her trembling chest. Night after night, she gathered her grief like broken glass. Each memory, each dream, each unanswered prayer cut her anew. Th...

Perhaps it was destined to be this way, the stars already knew, long before my first breath stirred the silence of the world. Perhaps every loss, every goodbye, every door that closed without warning, was written in invisible ink upon the pages of my becoming. I spent years fighting it. Standing before locked gates, bleeding my hands against iron, begging old chapters to speak my name once more. But books do not mourn the pages that have been turned. The river does not return to the mountain that birthed it. And winter never apologizes for taking the leaves. Acceptance is the key, they say. Not because the pain disappears, but because resistance becomes a heavier burden than grief itself. So I buried my questions beneath quiet soil. I stopped asking why the sun abandoned certain days, hidding under the fog, why some hearts become strangers, why some dreams arrive only to die young. Life offered no answers. Only seasons. Only endings. Only the endless turning of unseen gears. Now I walk...

He walks with a smile that shines like the sun, telling sweet stories to everyone. His words are polished, his manners refined, but hidden intentions sit deep in his mind. He searches for women who stand on their own, who built their dreams from seeds they had sown. The ladies who struggled, who weathered the rain, who carried their burdens through hardship and pain. He praises their courage, their strength and their grace, while quietly plotting to take their safe place. His compliments sparkle, his promises flow, like rivers that seem deep but are shallow below. He says, "You're amazing, the strongest I've seen," yet envies the kingdom she built in between. The independent lady believes in his care, until she discovers there's emptiness there. For he loved the harvest, but never the field. He wanted the treasure, not wounds that had healed. And when she grows weary of carrying two, his affection fades like the morning dew. He leaves without warning, without look...

They looked at me the way people look at rubbish, useful for a moment, then forgotten at the side of the road. I carried their burdens, held their secrets, gave pieces of my soul to keep their worlds from breaking. But kindness was a currency they spent without repayment. My tears bled in silence, invisible rivers of red flowing beneath a face forced to pretend it was whole. No one saw them. Or perhaps they did, and simply chose not to care. For mercy is a stranger in the hearts of the wicked. Compassion dies quickly where selfishness builds its throne. Their judgments fell like stones, heavy and cold, crushing the very hands that once reached out to help them. I was measured, weighed, and condemned for scars they helped create. When they needed me, I was important. When they finished with me, I became nobody. A discarded name. A forgotten voice. A shadow standing alone at the edge of their celebrations. The cruelest wounds are not carved by enemies, but by those who once called you fr...

There is a strange kind of death that does not require a coffin, no cemetery, no black clothes, no grieving family gathered beneath a grey sky. It happens in whispers. It happens when people who once sat beside you begin speaking your name as though it belongs to someone monstrous, someone unworthy of kindness, someone they have already condemned. I have watched it happen. I have stood in rooms where conversations fell silent the moment I entered, felt eyes follow me like shadows, heard fragments of stories that wore my face but carried none of my truth. The hatred within their hearts was never loud enough to announce itself. It arrived disguised as concern, as curiosity, as innocent conversation. "Did you hear?" "I was told..." "They say..." And with every sentence, another piece of me was dragged into the street for public display. They spoke as if I had never given anything. As if my hands had never lifted another soul from their darkest hour. As if my ...